DOCTORS:THE USUAL SUSPECTS

Happy Doctors’ Day!

Happy Doctors’ Day…

Just for a Day when you can get away,

Come tomorrow, we’ll assault you anyway.

From your so noble a job, you now sway,

The righteous society shall teach you the way,

But for a day, Happy Doctors’ Day!!

Long hours, Low Pay, thats fine Okay,

For all the wrongs we will make you pay, 

But just so you know, Happy Doctors’ Day!

As the Social media and Watsapp statuses flooded with Happy Doctors’ Day today, my online news column headlined ,”a child dies in a village somewhere in India, doctors blamed.” Just another day in our country. The so called journalists or the media never go behind the cause of debilitated health infrastructure but will find softer targets for their TRP- the Doctors. And the sweet innocent people of our country never leave a chance to reciprocate forming a generalised mindset that “All Doctors are thugs… not doing their job properly… just making money.” 

Well, I am not going to carry forward this debate that how mistreated doctors are in our society. However, on this occasion, I am going to address certain day-to-day jibes that are taken at our profession in general, by the ‘very educated non medico homo sapiens’.

Q. When a patient comes with some myalgia or clinically relevant pain and you prescribe analgesics ,”Doc, these are just pain killers but I am having pain no… I need internal relief…This will cause kidney failure..”

A. Well, you see the pun there. You get pain killers for pain like the name says it out loud. 

You take it ‘as prescribed’ and the internal relief shall follow and kidney damage will not!

Q. “You doctors keep prescribing PCM for everything.”

A. No, A big fat No. Nobody does that but when you generally visit the doctor its normally with a mild fever or random body ache and guess what, PCM has antipyretic and analgesic effect (Google that up! Thats all you know) with minimum side effects, so that is what you get. 

Q. “Doc, you just gave this Combiflame, but I think I should also get some Antibiotic.”

A. You just don’t know what the doctors or at least I think of getting you when you say that. It’s a prevalent thing in India. Telling doctors that what they should do is an epidemic… if not then Endemic for sure. Because we were fools having studied the plethora of books when you can just Google it up.

Viral things, something that Corona should teach you, are more prevalent and they don’t get right with Antibiotics.

Q. So , I told my patient that he has a Hernia and will require Surgery. On hearing that he barged out of my office saying that he will get it treated in his village… 

A. This brings me to the another disease of ‘Second Opinions’. That probably happens because the first opinion is not what the patient wants to hear. And the second opinion successively, can become third or fourth until he hears what he wants to. Cant help the ignorant minds. 

Nevertheless, I did tell my patient to please let me know if he gets that hernia corrected without a surgery… I might as well publish that as a Case Study.

Q. “Doctor, please get my blood tests done and the ultrasound and the CT scan and the MIR… or MRI.. or whatever that machine is.. Get my full body scan done.”

A. Investigations (thats what we call them) were designed to aid a Doctor in diagnosis and you wont get it unless I want it. It is our discretion, not yours. Thats how simple it is. If you have a migraine, nothing will show up on CT/MRI. 

But again, Who am I… Patient is God.

Q. “Why do you charge so much for this Ultrasound… or for normal Consultation?”

A. Because that is my job. Yes, a noble profession and service to humanity, but humanity doesn’t pay for the bills or feed you. And for writing those few words on prescription slip, a lot has been sacrificed and a lot has been endured in life. So be ok with it or please consult yours truly, Google. 

Doctor has become a very misunderstood profession lately because of tainted deeds of the few but that doesn’t give anyone the right to generalise it. 

We don’t command respect, that shall be earned with how we do our job. 

But as a Shrewd Doctor let me tell you, Don’t tell us how to do our job!!

Happy Doctors’ Day.